My Crush and I were going to get me a new exercise bike this
weekend. The welder putty didn't work. It lasted all 20 minutes into
my 60 minutes last week. UGH! Thanks to my foot, I didn't get any
exercising in after The Great Tragedy. It's been hard to get those
marbles with taking one of the things off the list completely. Oh what
are those things? Glad you asked.
1) avert a craving (it only counts if it's a really bad one)
2) exercise for 30 minutes or more at a time.
3) stretch for my sciatic nerve.
4) stretch for my plantar fasciitis.
5) drink "8" glasses of water
Thankfully
My Crush is supportive. We made plans to go out and bite the bullet
and spend the money. But I found a second-hand one one instead. Paying
$20 is so much better tan $700. (Go me!) Even if it only gets me
through a little bit longer to research and not impulse buy. I know
what I like, but what do I need. And maybe it's time to switch things
up and get something different. I keep telling My Crush that what we
need is a "tiny house"
(they are adorable by the way) and we can outfit it with an elliptical,
treadmill AND bike. Wouldn't that just be amazing. Or an endless pool!
Oh, it's fun to dream! But then reality hits, and I remember I am a
teacher in the midst of standardized testing. Money doesn't grow on
trees.
We still headed out for look at bikes, it's time
to research. Get on them, try them out. Found lots of good ideas, I
think I am leaning towards a NordiTrack. But thanks to my second-hand
purchase, we can think about this. But I did get myself a Pilates bar
:). Cindy Lou Who told me that I get a marble (just love how little ones
follow Mommy's words) for buying the bar and making a "good choice". I
think the best thing that has come from this is that Cindy Lou Who
wants her own "good choices" jar. Another gold star for me!
So, how happy am I. Super-dooper! I have a Pilates bar AND a stationery bike. Time to get moving again.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Trudging Through the Muck
Persevering through set backs.
This is the theme of my weight loss journey. I have to remind myself of this. On Friday, the pedal on my recumbent bike sheared off. (Thank goodness for this putty like welder; I think I fixed it--- for now). As a result, I walked outside on Monday. At dawn, with the birds chirping away. It was so beautiful. I love walking outside! Now my foot is, once again, throbbing in pain with plantar fasciitis But this time, the pain in traveling up to the back of my knee and the front of my hip. Add to this a pinched sciatic nerve on the opposite hip and am unexplained weight gain of 20 pounds... yes, you read that right, 20 more pounds that my body had gotten used to NOT having, and is having to lug around again.
I am frustrated. I am in pain.
And yet, I am still keeping up on my "200 Good Choices" challenge. My exercising isn't aerobic. It's been yoga. And damnit, I deserve every damn marble I am getting. Because, it is really hard to stay motivated. To not cave into the craving. On Sunday, I popped 3 Jelly Belly Beans (all kind of goodness there) in my mouth. I chewed once and stared at My Crush and spit it out. Oh yeah, I deserved that damn marble. My Crush likes to call them gems. I don't care what they are called. 200 of them before June 10th, I get a bike for outside or e-reader. Maybe a new exercise bike is more in order though after Friday.
But through this all, the pain is making my brain foggy. Typically, I can feel it getting better. Not this time.
What I wouldn't give for a heated pool right about now.
This is the theme of my weight loss journey. I have to remind myself of this. On Friday, the pedal on my recumbent bike sheared off. (Thank goodness for this putty like welder; I think I fixed it--- for now). As a result, I walked outside on Monday. At dawn, with the birds chirping away. It was so beautiful. I love walking outside! Now my foot is, once again, throbbing in pain with plantar fasciitis But this time, the pain in traveling up to the back of my knee and the front of my hip. Add to this a pinched sciatic nerve on the opposite hip and am unexplained weight gain of 20 pounds... yes, you read that right, 20 more pounds that my body had gotten used to NOT having, and is having to lug around again.
I am frustrated. I am in pain.
And yet, I am still keeping up on my "200 Good Choices" challenge. My exercising isn't aerobic. It's been yoga. And damnit, I deserve every damn marble I am getting. Because, it is really hard to stay motivated. To not cave into the craving. On Sunday, I popped 3 Jelly Belly Beans (all kind of goodness there) in my mouth. I chewed once and stared at My Crush and spit it out. Oh yeah, I deserved that damn marble. My Crush likes to call them gems. I don't care what they are called. 200 of them before June 10th, I get a bike for outside or e-reader. Maybe a new exercise bike is more in order though after Friday.
But through this all, the pain is making my brain foggy. Typically, I can feel it getting better. Not this time.
What I wouldn't give for a heated pool right about now.
It's Time
(Originally written April 11, 2012 on Penzu.com)
I've spent too much time wishing to be thinner, to be healthier. I have done it... 30 whole pounds, only to gain it all back. It's time. But I have to find motivation for ME. Not what has worked for other, but what will work for me.
So, ideas? Anyone? Oh yeah, it's just me in here. So, I have to be honest with myself. Why do I want to lose the weight? To look better. Yeah, I enjoyed being thinner. But that's not the only thing. I want to be able to ride the rides at the parks. I want to fit into cute clothes. I want my feet to stop hurting (but I don't know if the weight loss will help that). I want to exercise. I actually love to exercise. I feel great when I am done. I want to be able to buy cute clothes from any place. Hmm, most of this seems to revolve around clothing. Interesting since I never thought of myself as a clothing snob before. What do I want... why do I want to lose this weight? So that I don't feel too big for the world around me. So I am not just another statistics. So that I know how to eat healthy and can encourage my girls to do the same. So that My Crush won't keep gaining weight. I don't want him to turn out like me. Maybe my depression will get better? I doubt it, but the exercise will help with that. Maybe it isn't so much about the weight, but eating yummy food that is good for my body and getting the exercise that i love to do.
Motivation? Eating to live, not living to eat. A less cluttered life. Beginning with myself. Internal motivation, where are you?
Ok, what about external motivation? I'll come back to the insides later. Pay myself? What about a jar that every time I work out, I can put a marble into it. When the jar is full I can treat myself to anything (non-food) that I want. A good choices jar! If I really want that doughnut and don't get it, there is another marble. Nothing out, just in. So I can see all the good choices i am making. That might just do it. So often, I can't remember all the good choices, just the bad ones. I have a lifetime of bad choices when it comes to my weight. that is how I got here. DUH. Ok, so, to get a jar... what kind of pretty jar to put on my dresser. This starts TODAY, not tomorrow or next week, but today.
A pin board, with one pin for every pound I want GONE. But in little tiny groups, just 5 at a time. and move them over. That sounds like it would be fun to do. Make it pretty. This starts today too. I can't keep putting it off. Here we are at 1 PM and I am still in bed. Granted, I was exhausted, but I ate breakfast in bed.
I also need to clean out the garbage from the kitchen. So, what is garbage? I need to think a little about that one.
So, internal motivation... what do I want most, why do I want to do this? So I don't feel too big for the world around me? For the fist time in my life, I feel too big. Probably because I gained so much weight so quickly just recently. Weird though, because I used to feel like I had the opposite of anorexia, like I didn't know how big I was.
So, here it begins. When I am struggling, write, write, write and workout. I GET to work out still. I haven't damaged my body beyond repair, yet. It's only a matter of time though, look at Papa, he hurts to walk. And I do NOT want that.
So, time to get to bed early and get up early and WORKOUT. But for now, at 1:11 pm, get out of bed, start some laundry and then get on that bike and READ a book.
On your mark, get set go!
I've spent too much time wishing to be thinner, to be healthier. I have done it... 30 whole pounds, only to gain it all back. It's time. But I have to find motivation for ME. Not what has worked for other, but what will work for me.
So, ideas? Anyone? Oh yeah, it's just me in here. So, I have to be honest with myself. Why do I want to lose the weight? To look better. Yeah, I enjoyed being thinner. But that's not the only thing. I want to be able to ride the rides at the parks. I want to fit into cute clothes. I want my feet to stop hurting (but I don't know if the weight loss will help that). I want to exercise. I actually love to exercise. I feel great when I am done. I want to be able to buy cute clothes from any place. Hmm, most of this seems to revolve around clothing. Interesting since I never thought of myself as a clothing snob before. What do I want... why do I want to lose this weight? So that I don't feel too big for the world around me. So I am not just another statistics. So that I know how to eat healthy and can encourage my girls to do the same. So that My Crush won't keep gaining weight. I don't want him to turn out like me. Maybe my depression will get better? I doubt it, but the exercise will help with that. Maybe it isn't so much about the weight, but eating yummy food that is good for my body and getting the exercise that i love to do.
Motivation? Eating to live, not living to eat. A less cluttered life. Beginning with myself. Internal motivation, where are you?
Ok, what about external motivation? I'll come back to the insides later. Pay myself? What about a jar that every time I work out, I can put a marble into it. When the jar is full I can treat myself to anything (non-food) that I want. A good choices jar! If I really want that doughnut and don't get it, there is another marble. Nothing out, just in. So I can see all the good choices i am making. That might just do it. So often, I can't remember all the good choices, just the bad ones. I have a lifetime of bad choices when it comes to my weight. that is how I got here. DUH. Ok, so, to get a jar... what kind of pretty jar to put on my dresser. This starts TODAY, not tomorrow or next week, but today.
A pin board, with one pin for every pound I want GONE. But in little tiny groups, just 5 at a time. and move them over. That sounds like it would be fun to do. Make it pretty. This starts today too. I can't keep putting it off. Here we are at 1 PM and I am still in bed. Granted, I was exhausted, but I ate breakfast in bed.
I also need to clean out the garbage from the kitchen. So, what is garbage? I need to think a little about that one.
So, internal motivation... what do I want most, why do I want to do this? So I don't feel too big for the world around me? For the fist time in my life, I feel too big. Probably because I gained so much weight so quickly just recently. Weird though, because I used to feel like I had the opposite of anorexia, like I didn't know how big I was.
So, here it begins. When I am struggling, write, write, write and workout. I GET to work out still. I haven't damaged my body beyond repair, yet. It's only a matter of time though, look at Papa, he hurts to walk. And I do NOT want that.
So, time to get to bed early and get up early and WORKOUT. But for now, at 1:11 pm, get out of bed, start some laundry and then get on that bike and READ a book.
On your mark, get set go!
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